Tuesday, May 25, 2010

911 tape released in West Haven murder-suicide; Baby is Crying While Father Shoots Mother to Death

 

Listen to audio, baby crying while mom is shot and killed caught on 911 tape

http://www.nhregister.com/articles/2010/05/25/news/metro/doc4bfb26c22e0e5880064660.txt

911 tape released in West Haven murder-suicide; Probe finds ‘troubling’ aspects in arrest, monitoring in domestic violence case (multimedia)

Published: Tuesday, May 25, 2010

By James Tinley, Register Staff

jtinley@newhavenregister.com

A report into a Jan. 17 murder-suicide in West Haven released Monday by the Ansonia-Milford State’s Attorney’s Office details key break downs in the way the domestic violence case was handled and calls for reforms at virtually every level in the response to such cases.

(Caution: The following audio tape contains disturbing content)

The five-month investigation “uncovered several troubling revelations” in aspects of the arrest, prosecution and monitoring of the original domestic violence case of Selami Ozdemir, 42, said Kevin D. Lawlor, state’s attorney for the Ansonia-Milford Judicial District.

Ozdemir, who had a history or domestic violence, was able to post $25,000 bail after assaulting the mother of his children on April 16 without paying a dime of his pocket to a bail bondsman. Once released from jail he was able to violate a protective order for the second time in 12 hours to kill Shengyl Rasim, 25, in front of their two children. He then turned the borrowed gun on himself.

A review of the 911 tapes shows operators “did not communicate vital facts to patrol officers,” on April 17 including a warning from a concerned citizen that Ozdemir was drunk, dangerous and heading for the house. Officers, who were back at the house, were never told of the call from the concerned citizen that came in when they were still at the house on Blohm Street.

Minutes later another 911 call would come in from the Rasim’s house. Arguing, and five loud popping sounds, followed by a baby crying can be heard on the chilling audio from the 911 call.

Operators did not tell the officers, who were sent back to the house, of the possible gun shots.

When they arrived they found Rasim suffering from four gun shot wounds and Ozdemir with a single self-inflicted gun shot wound to his chest.

An attorney for the Rasim’s estate Monday filed his intent to sue the city and dispatchers for “their extreme negligence” in failing to notify the officers of the citizen’s warning.

“There are so many egregious errors on the part of the West Haven Police Department in this case, where do you even start?” said Attorney Joel T. Faxon of Stratton Faxon Law Firm in New Haven. “Ozdemir violated a protective order not once, but two or three times, in the span of 12 hours before killing his wife and no one bothered to take him into custody. I believe racially motivated misconduct clearly plays a role in this case. The dispatchers appear to have a very cavalier and dismissive attitude toward this young Turkish woman who didn’t speak English well and obviously ignored direct warnings of her impending execution.”

The report says the 911 operators have access to translation services, but never requested them.

Calls to the West Haven Fire Department, which oversees civilian dispatchers with the police department were not returned Monday. A West Haven police spokesman declined to comment. Both departments have launched internal investigations.

A gap in the treatment and evaluation of people accused of domestic violence also was exposed in the report.

Ozdemir, who was first arrested for beating his wife in September 2009, was accepted into a family violence education program, but did not attend any classes because there was a three-month wait.

“My primary concern is to determine exactly what happened in this situation and, to the extent possible, attempt to assure that a tragedy such as this does not happen again. It is not to assign blame to any agency or group,” Lawlor said.

Lawlor also called on the state legislature to end the practice of people accused of crimes effectively receiving “get out of jail free cards.”

Ozdemir was arrested for assaulting Rasim on Jan. 16 and was freed that night by a bail bondsman, without any payment to the bondsman. How he was able to do that is still under investigation, but no state law prevents it from happening again. A law to reform the bail bonds industry, which is one of Lawlor’s recommendations, died in the Senate without a vote this year after gaining unanimous approval in the House.

The procedural changes the report calls include: Increasing the number of slots in the Family Violence Education Program; requiring more formal monitoring, supervision and reporting by those accused of domestic violence while their cases are pending in court; formalizing statewide procedures for notifying the state Department of Children and Families of potential instances of child endangerment involving domestic violence; reforming the bail bond industry to prevent a bondsman from issuing what is in effect a “get out of jail free card” to someone accused of domestic violence; and increasing inter-agency and intra-agency communication in domestic violence cases.

Shengyl Rasim Report

Shengyl Rasim Report

WordPress Tags: West,Haven,Baby,Father,Mother,Death,Listen,news,Probe,violence,multimedia,James,Tinley,Register,Staff,Ansonia,Milford,State,Attorney,Office,response,cases,Caution,investigation,prosecution,Selami,Ozdemir,Kevin,Lawlor,Judicial,District,history,bail,children,April,Once,Shengyl,Rasim,citizen,Blohm,Street,Minutes,self,chest,estate,negligence,Police,Department,Joel,Faxon,Stratton,Firm,times,wife,custody,misconduct,plays,role,attitude,Turkish,woman,English,execution,translation,services,Fire,civilian,spokesman,Both,treatment,evaluation,September,education,classes,situation,extent,tragedy,agency,legislature,payment,industry,Senate,approval,House,Program,supervision,procedures,card,communication,Report,mode,articles,aspects,revelations,operators,officers,errors,departments,investigations,crimes,recommendations,instances,suicide,five,month,bondsman,hours,dispatchers,three

Friday, May 21, 2010

The Ever Expanding Parental Alienation Theory: Amy J. Baker's Research Revisited

By the awesoeme Randi James

As previously discussed by F. Bessette, Amy Baker's participants were mainly recruited via internet advertisements:

Nothing wrong with this method. However, the wording could lead to a biased selection:

1. She introduces herself as a research psychologist, versus a researcher.

2. The word manipulated is loaded. How does she define it or how do her participants define it?

3. The word alienated is loaded. How does she define it or how do her participants define it?

And so what kind of people responded to her ads? Who was represented? Baker gives us some information in her research entitled, Patterns of Parental Alienation Syndrome: A

Qualitative Study of Adults Who were Alienated from a Parent as a Child.

40 participants were utilized (a large sample size for a qualitative study)

The age range was from 19 to 67 years old (keep in mind that they are reflecting on their childhood.

37.24 was the average age for women and

42.73 for men

in rounding ages mode=40

just some maybe useless information!!)

15 men and 25 women (interesting gender distribution)

29 of the participants reported that their parents divorced during their childhood. (This ranged from from birth to age 13, with an average of 5.76 years and a mode of 2. What about the other 11 participants? )

34 cases in which the mother was the alienator

6 cases= father

**There is no information about the parents'/children's economic status [pre-divorce, post-divorce] which may give us information on class issues. There is no racial or ethnic information which may give us some background on cultural issues.**

Baker's goal #1:

to determine whether there were people who identified themselves as having been alienated from one parent due to the other parent’s actions and attitudes.

She notes:

Although these data do not provide any benchmark for determining the actual prevalence of the phenomenon in the general population, they do provide evidence that there are people who believe that they have had this experience.

There are also people who believe they were raped, impregnated, and abducted by aliens. There are people who believe Tupac Shakur and/or Elvis Presley are still alive. There were people who thought the world would end in 2000. All of their evidence says/said so. What mattered in this study was not there was something called parental alienation, but people's beliefs about their recollections. This study did not involve proving anything. It was exploratory in nature.

Baker's goal #2:

to determine whether there were different types of parental alienation experiences or whether they all followed the same general outline.

So she might be trying to expand on the previous literature. Innovative.

This is what Baker found:

PATTERN 1: NARCISSISTIC MOTHER IN DIVORCED FAMILY

all portrayed their mother as self-centered, demanding a high degree of attention and admiration, and not able to see them as separate individuals...a woman who was charming, dynamic, and preoccupied with having her own needs met rather than meeting the needs of her children.

Picture portrayed does not necessarily equal reality. A mother (or any parent) more concerned with her own needs against her children's own best interest would essentially be neglecting her children. In what ways did the participants in Baker's research describe the children being neglected--emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually? Each is very different.

it can be surmised that these narcissistic mothers cultivated an emotionally enmeshed relationship with the participants when they were young children that appeared to serve their own need for love and admiration rather than to promote the emotional health and growth of the participants.

Enmeshed is an overused word--heavily saturated in psychological literature--that tries to malign the relationship between mothers and their children. The opposite of enmeshment is detachment, which is also pathological according to psych theory (yes, these are theories, not laws). It is easy for strangers and those without a vested interest in the relationship to pathologize other people's family dynamics. Perhaps it would serve psych researchers better if they were to performethnographic studies--become a part of the family and observe--in order to determine how what has been classified as maladjustment may serve to benefit the family in various situations.

Baker goes on to say:

Maternal narcissism appeared to fuel the alienation in at least three ways. First, despite the powerful personality presented to the world, narcissists tend to feel empty inside and easily become enraged at the first sign of humiliation or abandonment (Masterson, 1981). Therefore, it is quite likely that the end of the marriage triggered in these women feelings of shame and rage that became directed towards the husband.

Pure speculation. (Then again, who ever said what was presented in research was fact?) If the marriage's end was a result of the husband's actions, is that shame and rage unwarranted? Could we also not apply the same humiliation or abandonmentand/or shame and rage to the father because he now realizes the extent of his actions? Could the father be the narcissist?

This is certainly consistent with the fact that the participants recalled a steady stream of badmouthing about the absent father following the divorce. These men were referred to as cheaters, gamblers, rapists, alcoholics, and abusers in front of the participants.

This is almost laughable (not at the children's pain though). Might we want to consider that these fathers were in fact the names that were used, or that the behaviors they exhibited matched these names? No. This research wasn't supposed to verify or dispute this. The focus is on the mother's actions, rendering the father's potential behaviors as invisible. And who gets to decide what a mother should or should not tell her child or what is or is not age appropriate? Psychologists?

Thus, the alienation may have been partly motivated by revenge, as if the mothers were saying, “If you don’t want me you can’t have the children.”

Speculation. What if the mother was saying, "Your display of character has caused such a disturbance and is evidence of your utter disregard for the children."

A second underlying motivation of the alienation fueled by the mothers’ narcissism appears to be anger towards the children that they wanted to have a relationship with the father even though he had rejected the mother. This is consistent with the fact that narcissists generally have a hard time understanding that others (including if not especially their children) have separate feelings and experiences of the world (Kernberg, 1976). For the narcissist, if she is angry with someone, the children should be as well.

Was the mother angry because the father rejected her or because the father abusedher [or the children]? Big difference. How would we know, decades later? If a mother is not to speak of the father being a drunk or cheater, is she supposed to speak of him being physically or sexually abusive? And if so, when should that information be divulged? On the other hand, if the father is the narcissist, wouldn't he have a hard time understanding that others (including his children and maybe his ex-wife) have separate feelings and experiences of the world? How might he display that narcissism? (hint: by claiming parental alienation)

Third, the narcissistic mothers might have felt especially alone and fragile following the divorce and might have relied more on their children for comfort, companionship, and reassurance than before. Seen in this light, the time the children spent with the father under these circumstances would have been experienced as a profound loss. Many narcissists do not know how to be alone, as they need an audience to make them feel real and to reassure them of their grandiosity (Golumb,1992).

Speculation with misogynistic undertones. This particularly pathologizes mothers who do not re-couple after divorce and choose to focus on [rebuilding] the relationship between her and her children (which is vital if they were previously subjected to abuse). And then, as I previously stated, would the same thing apply to the father if he is indeed the narcissist (doesn't know how to be alone and thus re-partners quickly, garners support from his parents, then decides to take interest in kids now that he has an audience)?

Moving on,

PATTERN 2: NARCISSISTIC MOTHER IN NON DIVORCED FAMILY

There were 8 cases in which "parental alienation" was displayed in an intact family--no divorce, no custody battle--the parents and children lived in one household. I have asked this question repeatedly--Does parental alienation occur in intact families?-- and I have stated that these so-called alienating behaviors occur in "regular" households (see Parental Alienation in "High Conflict" Divorce: Questions We Must Ask). According to Richard Gardner, founder of parental alienation theory, this isn't parental alienation. According to Baker, it was like this:

The primary technique entailed confiding in the child about the inadequacies and failings of the father.

Confiding implies that it was some sort of secret between the mother and child. Was this the case?

Much of what was shared with the participants about the father was designed to make them feel anger or resentment toward him and protective of the mother, furthering the alienation.

Is this a fact or opinion and how can we know? How do we know that the child did not carry these feelings on his/her own and look to the mother for mutual support?

It is also possible that the mother was not able to maintain an adult relationship in which emotional honesty and compromise would be necessary. Perhaps these mothers turned to their children because having the unquestioning adoration of a child was more satisfying and less demanding than a mature relationship with another adult.

Horrible speculation. Furthermore, how does one carry out a mature relationship with an alcoholic or cheater? The emotionally dishonest person would be the one with the negative behaviors that are ruining the family, not the person who cannot communicate with him.

PATTERN 3: COLD, REJECTING OR ABUSIVE ALIENATING PARENT

According to Richard Gardner, if there is bona fide abuse, there is no parental alienation (although with Gardner's encouragement of sexual relations between fathers and their children, his categorizations are questionable). According to Baker, it was like this:

Rather than a “fabulously close” or “excellent” relationship, as the participants in pattern 1 and 2 described having with their mothers, the participants in pattern families were physically, verbally, and/or sexually abused by the alienating parent. Sixteen cases fit this pattern, three in intact families and 13 in divorced families.

That is 45% of the divorced family participants and 27% of the intact family participants fitting into this category. And these are people who elected to reveal this information.

In half the families the alienating parent was alcoholic in addition to being physically, emotionally, sexually, and/or verbally abusive and in five cases the father was the alienating parent.

That is out of 40 families, 20 of them had alcohol abuse issues on top of other abuses. And out of the total of 6 cases in which the father was considered the alienator, 5 were physically, emotionally, sexually, and/or verbally abusive (83%) (I'm unsure whether I am interpreting Baker's statement correctly as it is rather unclear).

The alienation occurred not through the alienating parent winning the child over through charm and persuasion, but through a campaign of fear, pain, and denigration of the targeted parent.

This is what has been described as Domestic Violence by Proxy or Stockholm syndrome. Interesting, Baker didn't offer these terms as possibilities however she chooses to repeatedly align mothers with cults throughout this research, and then, makes this statement:

Thus, parental alienation syndrome can take different forms.

because her (and others PAS theorists) ultimate goal is the expand the definition of what constitutes parental alienation syndrome/disorder. And she doesn't try to hide her m.o.:

Narcissistic mothers as alienators may present different clinical opportunities than alcoholic physically abusive fathers. The first scenario is the one commonly envisioned and described when parental alienation syndrome is discussed (Gardner, 1992). However the field needs to recognize that there is more than one type of parental alienation syndrome

...it appears that it may be time to broaden our understanding of parental alienation syndrome..

She also notes:

...alcoholism, maltreatment, and personality disorders co-occurred

in most of the cases included in this study.

And yet it appears that the focus is still parental alienation; therefore, it is a mask, a distraction from dealing with the real problems inherent in the select families in which PAS is said to exist.

And here Baker gets down to the nitty gritty of this research where she fills in the gaps with the true motivations for PAS theorists:

Second, determination of personality disorders should be taken into account when devising methods for overseeing visitation schedules since such individuals are not likely to comply with court orders. People with narcissistic personality disorders tend to be arrogant and, therefore, are likely to devalue authority figures and emphasize their own ability to make judgments and decisions (e.g., Golumb, 1992; Hotchkiss, 2002). Without real teeth in a visitation or shared parenting order, it is not likely that such a person will comply. The legal system has developed measures for tracking and enforcing payment of child support; it is now time for methods of ensuring compliance with visitation to be developed as well.

Personality disorders, Visitation enforcement, and Shared parenting all thrown together on the backdrop of child support. No surprises here. Amy Baker appears to be advocating for punishment in suspected (or assumed) cases of parental alienation.

A second notable finding from this study is that parental alienation can occur in intact families. The majority of the attention to parental alienation syndrome has emerged from the legal system in response to problems dealing with high conflict divorces, custody disputes, and false and real allegations of parental alienation (Darnall, 1998; Warshak, 2001). To date,there has been minimal if any attention to the fact that parental alienation can occur outside of the legal system.

Third, alienation occurred in some of these families that were not involved in post-divorce litigation. Again, the typical parental alienation scenario discussed in the field is that of a family involved in intense and chronic legal conflicts around custody and visitation (Gardner, 1998). This was not always the case.

These findings are not notable. And it leaves a major question unanswered: If PAS occurs in intact and non-litigating households then what would be the likelihood that this occurs in a significant amount of otherhouseholds? The greater the likelihood, the less pathological it would be. Maybe it is a natural phenomenon.

...one of the participants who did not fall into the three patterns reported that the alienating parent was the non-custodial father.

But Baker would prefers to explain it like this:

Despite the fact that the targeted parent lived in the same household, the participants rejected them, avoided them, denigrated them (in their hearts and mind) and essentially lost out on the experience of having a healthy rewarding relationship with that other parent.

See Parental Alienation and Loving Relationships: Questions We Must Ask

And Baker would like to get everyone involved:

Likewise, teachers, social workers and other mental health professionals who come into contact with parents and children should become versed in the patterns of parental alienation syndrome and the strategies parents use so that they can identify them when they are present.

Will they be mandated to report it just like other child abuse suspicion? Will Social Services or Child Protective Services get involved? Will this lead all other families into court and into protracted litigation? Will every family get a third person embedded into their family life..aka Parent Coordinator or other Court Whores? And at whose expense--the parents or the government?

Fourth, the parents who were the target of the alienation appeared to play a role in their own alienation. In some cases these parents were passive and uninvolved (even when living in the same household) and did not work particularly diligently to establish and or maintain a positive and meaningful relationship with their own children. Many did not write letters or make phone calls to their children during periods of non-visitation, they did not attend school events and sporting competitions, they did not follow through on planned visitations, and in some respects appeared to be casual about their relationships with their children.

So, is this considered parental alienation, too? Who is the alienator?

Baker adds:

...it must be noted that these reports were made by the adult children, and because they were children at the time of the alienation, they may not know everything that the targeted parents did or tried to do for them...

without mentioning that this same disclaimer (delimitation?) can be applied to the knowledge the children/adults may NOT have about why the mother behaved as she did.

The final finding that emerged from a review of these cases is that the alienation was not always completely internalized.

And so, by according to Richard Gardner, this would NOT be parental alienation either.

This marks the end of Amy J. Baker's research. In this study, she never defined what parental alienation meant. She interviewed the participants herself and didn't specify whether she personally analyzed the data for content/themes, or not. These things matter.

Baker tries parallel the concept with cultism, and explains that PAS isn't in the DSM, similar to other syndromes that took time to get it in. A similarly appropriate parallel would be to the former catchall diagnosis of female hysteria...which then went to be called somatization disorder and then conversion disorder. The field of psychology operates in this wish-washy manner because it is based on "theory" (opinion).

Another important thing to keep in mind is the demographic data provided at the beginning of Baker's study. Go back and re-read it above...........

In the study, Baker states:

Section two focused on memories of the marriage, the participant’s relationship to each parent until the time of the separation/divorce,how the participant was told about the separation, who moved out of the house and a description of the custody/visitation schedule through age 18.

I have provided you with enough information and emphases throughout this post to let you put this together on your own.

****

In performing a study in this manner, Amy Baker tried to expand the definition of parental alienation syndrome by using people's beliefs so that the the people could define parental alienation as it meant to them:

the interview aimed to understand in a focused way the subject’s every day life world as it related to parental alienation and the meaning of the alienation for them

This is a magnificent selling point to society at large. PAS theorists have struggled with trying to separate from Richard Gardner not only because his definition was limited (to "high conflict" divorce with mothers as the main alienators), but because of his pro adult-child sexual beliefs. ie:

Special care should be taken not alienate the child from the molesting parent. The removal of a pedophilic parent from the home "should only be seriously considered after all attempts at treatment of the pedophilia and rapprochement with the family have proven futile."

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.(p. 537)

The child should be told that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. "The sexual exploitation has to be put on the negative list, but positives as well must be appreciated"

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.(p. 572)

Older children may be helped to appreciate that sexual encounters between an adult and a child are not universally considered to be reprehensible acts. The child might be told about other societies in which such behavior was and is considered normal. The child might be helped to appreciate the wisdom of Shakespeare's Hamlet, who said, "Nothing's either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.(p. 59)

However, the broader the scope of parental alienation, the more watered down it's definition becomes. If any child (and parent) can suffer from parental alienation in any circumstance, what makes it abnormal? How is it a mental illness?

DSM stands for “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” and is published by the American Psychiatric Association, the professional organization representing United States psychiatrists. The DSM contains a listing of psychiatric disorders and their corresponding diagnostic codes. Each disorder included in the manual is accompanied by a set of diagnostic criteria and text containing information about the disorder, such as associated features, prevalence, familial patterns, age-, culture- and gender-specific features, and differential diagnosis. No information about treatment is included.

Please stay tuned for part 2.

See Also: Amy Baker and Parental Alienation Syndrome: Is This What Scientific Research Looks Like?

Psychology and Parental Alienation: Closer to Science?

Monday, May 17, 2010

The dangers were plain, but the killings went on

After a spike in domestic homicides across the state, questions linger about why they are so hard to prevent

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2010/05/16/after_spike_in_domestic_homicides_across_state_questions_linger/?page=1

 

By the time the officer kicked open the deadbolted door on Feb. 9, the woman was lying in the fetal position in a pool of her blood. Her husband stood nearby holding a bloodied kitchen knife.

 
Domestic abuse timeline

“I just killed my wife,’’ he calmly told the officer.

It was the eighth such killing in a span of just 31 days, eight women killed by their partners or, in one case, by her father. And the bloodletting didn’t end there. Two others narrowly survived attacks and four of the assailants, all men, killed themselves.

The sudden alarming spike in domestic homicides across the state, like similarly devastating clusters of cases in 1995 and 2007, left authorities scrambling to discern a pattern — and finding none.

And yet these were cases with much in common, for this kind of killing is among the least random of crimes: Assailant and victim, by definition, know each other intimately. Power, and the unnatural need for it, is the recurrent motive.

The warning signs of mortal danger were often blindingly plain to view. Some of the women were counseled, repeatedly and loudly, to get away, to get help, to shun the men. A deeper look at three of the cases illumines why such warnings were and are so hard to heed, and why this remains, at a time when the stigma of leaving an abusive relationship is gone, among the most stubborn of crimes to prevent.

. . .

After 39 years, Joan Murphy thought she knew her husband’s habits.

But there he was, striding toward her on Jan. 17 at the Oriental Pearl, an Asian restaurant in Westport where she had become a regular on karaoke nights. They had never visited the restaurant together, and she had seen him there only once since they separated a year earlier. So she was startled to see him, and even more so by the look on his face.

“Crazy determined,’’ she said, recollecting the moment.

“You don’t love me anymore,’’ Paul Murphy said as he sat down in a chair opposite her in the crowded bar.

“I am not talking about that,’’ she recalled saying.

“I love you,’’ he said, and he pulled a handgun from his coat pocket and aimed it at her face.

He would shoot her three times before turning the gun on himself. He died; she survived.

Paul Murphy’s family declined to comment, saying that the episode is too painful, the act inexplicable for a man who doted on his grandchildren and children, reveled in Irish music, golf, and the Yankees.

In several extensive interviews, Joan, a 57-year-old former nurse and mother of two, described her long marriage as suffocating and distant, regimented, and unpredictable — with happiness elusive for both of them.Continued...

Page 2 of 5 --

They had met at Fall River’s Charlton Memorial Hospital, where she worked and where Paul, also a Fall River native, was being treated for minor car accident injuries. He was confident, an Army man, and by the time he had recovered, they were going on dates at the drive-in. Joan would pick him up at the Marconi Club, a local bar where he hung out, and drop him there when their nights together were over.

 

 

Domestic abuse timeline

“He was the tough guy,’’ Joan recalled. “I thought that was cool.’’

They wed a few months later, on Valentine’s Day 1970. She was pregnant.

Around his friends and colleagues at Bridgewater Correctional Complex, where he worked as a correctional officer after leaving the military, Paul Murphy proclaimed his wife a saint, she said. But at home, in their three-bedroom garrison with a sun porch and manicured gardens, it was as though she could do nothing right.

When he watched the Yankees, he would fume if she crocheted rather than focus on the game, she said; when she talked with a neighbor, he demanded afterward to know what they had discussed; when she visited a friend, he chafed; when they went to parties, he would lambaste her afterward for saying the wrong thing.

“I was always scared. He’d be nice one minute, and the next, he’d be violent,’’ Joan said. “He never physically hit me, but he threatened.’’

Denise Rego, a friend of the couple, recalled that Joan was often on “high alert’’ and that Paul often seemed on the verge of exploding.

“We talked about her leaving a hundred times,’’ Rego said. “But her family would talk her out of it.’’

Joan feared leaving.

“I knew he wasn’t just going to let me go,’’ she said. “Not that you expect to get shot, but you know it’s not going to be easy.’’

The marriage deteriorated further after hip problems forced her to quit work and stay home, and after Paul retired in 2003, compelling them to spend more time together.

“You needed someone to blame so it was easy to blame me because I drank and yelled,’’ Paul later wrote in an e-mail to his wife, provided to the Globe by Joan. “You told me to go see [a counselor] and I did. You did not think it was working but the tantrums were reduced by 90 percent and then it was the drinking so I quit. I took away the two things you said made you unhappy but it still did not satisfy you.’’

Joan sought counseling as well and began stashing money in a bank envelope that she wrapped in a plastic bag and hid at the bottom of her purse. In February 2009, with $1,000 in the envelope, she moved to a one-bedroom apartment in Fall River.Continued...

Page 3 of 5 --

Soon, he was calling. One day, he wanted to know where she had hidden his gun. A year earlier, after his therapist warned her that he could be suicidal, she had stashed it in a hole under the kitchen sink. Now, he said he wanted to turn it over to police, and she told him where it was.

 
Domestic abuse timeline

There were demands, too, that she return to him.

“It was getting confrontational,’’ she said. “I finally said, ‘If you have something to say to me, e-mail me.’ ’’

Shortly after Christmas, he did.

He wanted a divorce. She agreed.

A few weeks later, she saw him at the Oriental Pearl for the first time. He was dancing with another woman and tried to make eye contact with her. She wondered if he had followed her there, and then she fled, slipping out the side door, she said.

Two nights later, at 10:30 on a Sunday, Joan was again at the Oriental Pearl, when Paul sat down at her table and pointed the gun.

The first bullet missed her, grazing a hand she reflexively raised to protect her face. She fell off her chair, and Paul leaned over the table, firing into her neck.

Then, another shot fired.

“I could hear the cops saying, ‘Don’t bother with him, he’s dead.’ And I thought: ‘Good. He’s dead. He won’t shoot me again.’ ’’

. . .

The youngest of the eight victims was 19-year-old Allison Myrick, who just months before had begun her freshman year at Fitchburg State College.

With a high school resume that included yearbook editor, MSPCA volunteer, and fund-raiser for ALS research, she had hoped to attend a bigger-name university. But her applications had been rejected, and she had scrambled to get into Fitchburg State.

Then, days before classes started, her high school boyfriend ended their relationship.

“She was devastated by that,’’ said her father, Steve.

At a campus party weeks after she arrived at school, Myrick met Robert Gulla, a 19-year-old who delivered bread for a bakery and lived in a basement bedroom at his mother’s house in Shirley.

Gulla took her to dinner, and soon they were seeing each other frequently, prosecutors allege. It wasn’t long before a volatile streak showed.

Myrick confided to her mother that one day at her dormitory, Gulla had gone from room to room, banging on doors and demanding that students tell him whether they ever visited her room. When the building director asked Gulla to leave, Gulla grabbed him by the collar, according to campus police records. Police banned him from campus.

Weeks later, according to Fitchburg State police records and prosecutors’ testimony, Myrick was sitting in the office of her dormitory resident assistant, trembling and crying as she told campus police that Gulla had beaten and choked her the night before, enraged about her text messaging.Continued...

Page 4 of 5 --

She told police that when she had tried to call a friend for help, Gulla had grabbed her phone and thrown it. Still, after Gulla apologized, Myrick stayed the night at his house, she told police.

 
Domestic abuse timeline

The officers urged her to get a restraining order; but she declined. She told her parents she would not see him anymore.

“At that point, we thought, ‘Wow. She’s OK, and thank God he didn’t kill her,’ ’’ said her father.

John Galvin, Gulla’s lawyer, declined to comment, as did Gulla family members.

Despite Myrick’s vow to stay away from Gulla, her parents worried. Their daughter called less frequently and removed them as friends from her Facebook page. When they questioned her about him, she balked, then confessed to seeing Gulla.

“She was being told by him that he loved her and that he wouldn’t do it again, and she couldn’t reconcile that someone who loved her would hurt her,’’ said Myrick’s mother, Susan.

But he did, prosecutors say. Police were summoned by Gulla’s mother on Dec. 11, after Gulla allegedly hit Myrick, again after becoming enraged over text messages on her phone.

Shirley police arranged for an emergency one-day restraining order, but she did not seek to extend it later that day. Myrick’s parents again implored her to stay away, and again she said she would.

She had even found someone new, a Fitchburg State classmate, John O’Brien. Still, she continued to see Gulla, prosecutors say. He demanded more attention and, on Jan. 19, he began texting and phoning her “incessantly,’’ at one point writing that he hoped her whole family died, she told police.

This time, Myrick told campus police she wanted a restraining order, and they escorted her to Fitchburg District Court to get it.

Yet at 11 p.m. on Jan. 22, after leaving O’Brien’s room, Myrick texted Gulla. Prosecutor’s say that Gulla borrowed his mother’s car about that time, telling her he was going to “pick Allie up.’’

The next afternoon, O’Brien began receiving texts from Myrick.

She had made a big mistake, he recalled her writing, and was at Gulla’s house. He told her to leave and get on the next train. But at 4:30 she had not left and texted, “I’m so scared. I’m not even kidding,’’ court records show. When O’Brien asked what was going on, Myrick replied “He went through my phone again.’’

Nearly three hours later, police found Myrick lying lifeless in the basement of Gulla’s house.

Prosecutors allege that Gulla beat her, strangled her, stabbed her multiple times, and shot her between the eyes with a pellet gun. At 5:09, he texted his mother. “I love you,’’ he wrote, prosecutors allege. Then he cut his left wrist and fired a pellet gun at his right temple, producing wounds that required a three-day hospital stay, prosecutors said. When his mother found him two hours later, prosecutors said, he was lying next to Myrick’s body, moaning.Continued...

Page 5 of 5 --

Gulla has pleaded not guiltyin Middlesex Superior Court in Woburn to charges of first-degree murder, three counts of assault and battery, and violation of a restraining order.

 
Domestic abuse timeline

. . .

Three more women died in the first week of February. Lieutenant Governor Tim Murray convened a domestic violence forum in Fitchburg to call attention to the tragedies.

Four days later, Christina Mulgrave was dead.

Mulgrave had been married four times, the first time when she was 24 and pregnant. Now 43, she had met a new man and seemed transformed — infused with a sense of reclaimed youth, family and friends said.

“It’s like ‘How Stella Got Her Groove Back,’ ’’ Christina Mulgrave told her sister, Michelle Gonzalez, shortly after returning home from a solo trip to Jamaica in 2007.

Craig Mulgrave was a maintenance worker in the hotel where she had stayed in Negril. He was charming, with a slender build and a quiet manner. And he was 12 years Christina’s junior.

“She liked the fact that she was older than him and that she was desirable to him,’’ her sister said.

Within months, Christina was making return trips, sending money to help his family, and soon, wedding plans were underway.

Family and friends were puzzled and concerned. Did she really know this man? But then, they figured, that was Christina, always on to the next thing. She was perpetually working toward another degree in nursing. She had moved frequently, uprooting her son and daughter. She had ended four marriages.

“Her relationships were never reciprocated the way she wanted them to be,’’ said Ellen Fortes, a longtime friend. She married Craig in a beachside ceremony in Negril in July 2008, said Narda Daley, a cousin of Craig’s.

It was a first marriage for Craig, an electrician whose father had died when he was young and whose mother had worked while raising him and his four siblings, Daley said. He had never been in trouble with the law, Daley said. “He’s not violent. He would walk away from an argument before he lost control.’’

While immigration paperwork was arranged, the two carried on a long-distance relationship — he in Jamaica and she in Las Vegas, where she had moved when her children were grown. Soon, the relationship was showing strain, Fortes said. Craig Mulgrave would anger quickly if he didn’t know where she was from moment to moment.

“This guy, on a daily basis, would tell her, you can’t go out of your house, you can’t go to the casino, you can’t go to your best friend’s house,’’ Fortes said. “Obviously, she would not not go out.’’

After arguments, which were frequent, Craig Mulgrave would call her cellphone dozens of times, Fortes said. She wouldn’t answer, she said.

“ ‘He’s just jealous,’ she’d say. ‘He’ll get over it,’ ’’ Fortes recalled Christina saying.

In the fall of 2009, Craig arrived in Las Vegas, and a few months later, in December, the pair moved east to be closer to her family. They rented a second-floor apartment in Haverhill. She worked as a labor and delivery nurse in Worcester; he struggled to find work, Daley said.

Gonzalez saw signs of tension. One day in early February, when Christina stopped by her house in Lowell, she seemed bothered and unhappy. She confessed that her marriage was in trouble.

“I want him to go back to Jamaica but he won’t go,’’ her sister recalled her saying.

Ninety minutes later, Christina Mulgrave called police, pleading for help; she was being stabbed, police records show. When police arrived, they could hear her screams, but by the time they entered the apartment, she was lying on the floor in the pool of her blood, the records show.

Craig Mulgrave has pleaded not guilty to first-degree murder in Essex Superior Court in Salem.

Since Christina’s death, the incidence of domestic murders ebbed just as unaccountably as it surged. But the questions remain, especially for the families left behind.

“When you see something like this on television, you say, ‘That poor family,’ ’’ said Christina Mulgrave’s mother, Mary Fidler. “But you haven’t even a clue what they have to go through.’’

Sarah Schweitzer can be reached at schweitzer@globe.com.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

China: nursery school deaths probe will not study killers' mental health

[May be smart to not waste time deciding if these guys were mentally ill when they obviously were psycho killers]

[If the US reacted like this then maybe it might cut down on the crimes against children]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8684301.stm

China school knife attacker sentenced to death

A woman holds a baby near the gate of Zhongxin Kindergarten, file pic

All 32 victims survived April's attack at Taixing's Zhongxin Kindergarten

A court in eastern China has sentenced a man to death for knifing 29 children and three teachers in an attack on a kindergarten, state media reports.

Xu Yuyuan was found guilty of attempted murder after a half-day trial at Taixing Intermediate Court in Jiangsu province, Xinhua reported.

Xu reportedly said his motive was to vent his rage against society. It was not clear whether he would appeal.

All 32 victims survived April's attack at Taixing's Zhongxin Kindergarten.

China has been rocked by a string of school attacks in the past two months, in which dozens have been killed or wounded.

China's Premier Wen Jiabao has said the attacks show the country has "social tensions" which must be addressed.

The education ministry has ordered all schools to upgrade their security facilities, teach students about safety and ensure that young children were escorted home.

Some local police authorities have distributed steel pitchforks and pepper spray to security guards in schools but such measures are considered expensive and their effectiveness is unproven.

But Mr Wen told a Hong Kong television channel on Thursday that as well as boosting the security presence, China needed to "handle social problems, resolve disputes and strengthen mediation at the grassroots level".

Discourage copycats?

On Wednesday, seven children thought to be under the age of six and two adults were hacked to death at a kindergarten near Hanzhong city in Shaanxi province. The attacker later killed himself, Xinhua reported.

In March, a man stabbed to death eight pupils at a school in Fujian province. He was executed soon afterwards.

THIS YEAR'S ATTACKS

12 May: Seven children killed and 20 hurt in Hanzhong, Shaanxi province

30 April: Five children hurt in hammer attack in Weifang, Shandong

29 April: Three adults and 29 children injured in Taixing, Jiangsu

28 April: At least 15 children and one teacher injured in Leizhou, Guangdong

24 March: Eight children killed in Nanping, Fujian

China concern over school attacks

China has in the past had a comparatively low rate of violent crime, meaning the recent violence has been all the more shocking.

There has been much speculation on the cause of the attacks, with some blaming inadequate provision for people with mental health issues.

Others have suggested the attacks are a form of revenge on society by individuals with no outlet for their anger in a political environment heavily controlled by the ruling Communist Party.

Reports in official media have generally played down any wider causes for the school attacks, portraying them as isolated incidents perpetrated by disturbed individuals.

Man accused of killing estranged wife in front of her children arrested twice for violating protective order

 

http://blog.al.com/live/2010/05/man_accused_of_killing_estrang_1.html

CRIME icon.jpgMOBILE, Ala. -- In the months before Michael Kenneth Berry is alleged to have shot his estranged wife in front of her four children, police arrested him twice for violating a protective order that barred him from contacting her.

Both times he was allowed to quickly post bail and be released, according to jail records.

Wendy Stevens also called police on a third occasion after an April 9 confrontation with Berry on Cottage Hill Road, according to Officer Christopher Levy, a Mobile Police Department spokesman.

Berry, 43, wasn't on the scene when the report was written and Stevens never signed a warrant to have him arrested, Levy said.

The protective order -- known as a PFA, for protection from abuse -- was still in effect Tuesday afternoon when, according to police, Berry shot Stevens, 37, as she waited in line at a west Mobile ATM.

Mobile police arrested Berry on Wednesday and charged him with capital murder. He is being held without bail in Mobile County Metro Jail.

Battered women can lose patience with the system and stop trying to have protective orders enforced, said an advocate who works for Penelope House, a local shelter for abused women.

The advocate, who helps battered women navigate the legal system, asked that her name be withheld because she feared reprisals from alleged abusers who have seen her in court.

"Unfortunately, this is something that happens all too often," she said. "Women will do everything they are supposed to do. They will get a PFA, they will call the police, they will sign warrants, and then they see that the abuser is getting a slap on the wrist and they start asking themselves, why am I doing all this?"

Circuit Court Juvenile Judge Edmond Naman issued the protective order for Stevens in January after Berry was arrested on a domestic abuse charge. The document ordered Berry to have no contact of any kind with Stevens.

Naman, whose court handles protective orders, said that about 895 orders were requested last year. Most of the requests lacked merit, he said, and were denied.

"When I grant a restraining order it's really because someone is in danger," he said.

Penalties for violations of a protective order escalate with each condition. A first conviction can be punished with a fine or counseling, but subsequent convictions call for mandatory jail sentences.

Berry's first arrest came a month after Stevens was awarded her protective order. Police took him into custody when Stevens said that he had showed up at her home on Schillinger Road.

Berry hired a bondsman to post the $1,000 bail and was released from Mobile County Metro Jail less than two hours later.

In a subsequent plea agreement, Mobile Municipal Judge Shelbonnie Hall agreed to withhold punishment as long as Berry stayed away from Stevens.

A few weeks later, Berry pulled alongside Stevens at a service station near Loxley, said Lt. Dennis Knight of the Gulf Shores Police Department.

According to the report she filed later, Berry asked where she was going. Though she was going to Gulf Shores, she told him Mississippi, Knight said.

Undeterred, he trailed her to the beach, surprising her as she lay in the sand, Knight said.

Stevens contacted police and had him arrested.

Again, Berry was charged with violating the protective order. Again he hired a bondsman to put up the $1,000 in bail money and walked out a free man.

The Gulf Shores case was set for arraignment in June.

The Penelope House advocate said that laws need to be strengthened so protective orders are taken seriously. She said that punishment needs to be swift and severe.

Still, she said, "It's not a magic brick wall that's going to protect you from someone. It's only a piece of paper."

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Murder-Suicide Reported At Winter Haven Hospital –CRIMES COMMITTED AGAINST OTHERS ARE NOT TRAGEDIES-THEY ARE OUTRAGES!! Stop it!

Why do they always say “Tragedies” v the real fact that they “OUTRAGES” like they want to all sugar coat the epidemic of men murdering their families as if-What could have MADE ‘him’ do it (poor baby)? v he was a freeking sociopath and needs to NOT be Glorified..?

ahhh I recall the whole “family Preservation thing” right up till “Death do US Part” 

….and death indeed.

In every single murder suicide- I read- :

”he was such a nice guy”- “the family was quiet”-or, there were “health issue”—or “he” just lost his job- or he was going through a “custody battle”- or.. or.. or.. and the media bites this shit hook line and sink… Blame Every one and Every thing but the source- why must WE keep protecting those who murder?

Stop it- it is an Outrage- Crimes committed against others are NOT tragedies- they OUTRAGES!!

http://www.cfnews13.com/News/Local/2010/5/10/murdersuicide_reported_at_winter_haven_hospital.html

Murder-Suicide Reported At Winter Haven Hospital

Tuesday, May 11, 2010 1:02:05 AM

WINTER HAVEN -- A murder-suicide was reported in a patient's room at Winter Haven Hospital Monday afternoon.

Witnesses heard gunshots on the 5th floor of the hospital in the medical surgery unit, just after 1:20 p.m.

Police say a 77-year-old man shot his sick wife to death.

The patient was identified as 76-year-old Patrricia Duckworth. Her husband, Raymond Duckworth, 77, was visiting her. 

"It's a tragedy," said hospital vice president Joel Thomas. "Everybody here on our whole staff are obviously shaken. Our hearts go out to the family members who are affected here."

The hospital was not evacuated, but the floor where the shooting happened was locked down for most of Monday night.

This story is from our Bright House Networks partner, Bay News 9.

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Monday, May 10, 2010

A Mother's Nightmare: Oregon Judge Holds Canadian Child Without Cause

http://www.salem-news.com/articles/may092010/noah_kirkman_bk.php

Bonnie King Salem-News.com

“You can't imagine the pain of not being able to hold your child on Mother's Day, knowing that you may never be able to hold him again.”

Noah Kirkman

12-year old Noah Kirkman has not been allowed to return to his Canadian homeland for 20 months. Photos courtesy: Kirkman family

(SALEM / CALGARY) - Some stories are so far-fetched, so incredible, that they are hard to believe at first look, even though they ring of truth. This is especially the case where someone has lost their child to “the state”. Always, there’s more to the story than is first presented, and they usually have a complicated, negative twist. People often assume the worst, assigning guilt where it doesn't belong. Fair? That term does not apply.

The arduous journey of 12-year old Noah Kirkman is one such story. An unfinishedstory.

Almost two years ago, Noah came to Oregon to spend the summer with his stepfather, John Kirkman. Less than three months later, DHS took the boy into custody, and, four foster homes later, he still hasn’t been allowed to go home to Canada.

Recently, the child’s mother, 35-year old Lisa Kirkman went public with her fight, releasing her son’s story and a plea for help to the media. “My family & I have been dealing with this for almost two years, but only recently have been able to feel comfortable talking about it. We didn't want the media to negatively influence the judge. Little did we know that the judge was negatively influenced--without the media's participation.”

What Noah did to deserve this disciplinary action is nothing less than shocking, leaving family and friends to wonder what motivates Oregon’s judicial system.

An Oregon Summer Gone Bad

John Kirkman married Noah’s mother Lisa in 2001, and raised Noah since he was a toddler. An American citizen, he is the biological father of Noah’s younger sister, Mia. John is the only father Noah has ever known.

When he and his wife lived in different places for a time and John moved to Oregon, it’s natural that his children would come to visit. June 2008 rolled around, and Lisa Kirkman drove from Calgary to Oregon, the beginning of a strange and unpredictable chain of events.

The small town of Oakridge, Oregon is nestled in the Willamette National Forest, southeast of Eugene, in the Cascade Range. Once a logging town, Oakridge has a total area of 2.0 square miles, and its population just tops 3,000. The area is beautiful, a destination for outdoorsmen from near and far. Oakridge is a stereotypical example of down-home Oregon lifestyle, the rural area is ideal for fishing, hunting, riding bikes, raising kids. Or, so one would have thought.

Noah was 11 years old when he, his mother and little sister ventured to Oregon to visit their “Papa”. Though Noah has special needs, suffering from severe ADHD, he was an A-student and very participatory in school and sports, and was looking forward to a special visit with his Papa. His mother and sister stayed in Oregon for a short time, then headed back to Canada, leaving Noah in his stepfather’s care for the summer.

Clearly, something took place during Noah's visit that would change everything. The really shocking part is, it wasn't at all shocking. Kid's play, in fact.

"During the summer, there were four separate incidents where the Oakridge police stopped my son with other local children for things like riding a bike without a helmet," Lisa Kirkman explains, "playing in an area they shouldn't be playing, etcetera. They just spoke to them, no one was arrested. My son was singled out because the cops recognized all of the other kids except Noah and so they decided to look into it further.”

“Noah was not on his ADHD medication. They were probably suspicious because he couldn't look them directly in the eye or sit still for two seconds,” she added.

Family Reunion Rudely Interrupted by DHS

When Lisa came to Oregon to retrieve her son after a fun-filled summer with his dad, some one else showed up at her husband’s house as well: Oregon Department of Human Services (DHS).

“Apparently, the decision to take Noah was made before I arrived in Oregon to pick him up. They just showed up and took him while my daughter & I were there.

“Their explanation at first is that they took Noah because they discovered that he has a large Canadian social services file. They didn't bother to check that this file is for health services & resources, not for protection issues. They've been justifying their original mistake ever since.

“Before DHS read through the boxes of files, they took Noah, saying they'd clear it up shortly. It's been 20 months and they still haven't ‘cleared it up’ and sent him home.”

MOTHER’S DAY RALLY Join “BRING NOAH HOME”, a Peaceful family rally in Calgary starting at the Harry Hays federal building downtown, then proceeding to the US Consulate/Olympic Plaza. Tie on a yellow ribbon, the color of hope and light, signifying those who await the homecoming of their loved ones.

Sunday, May 9/10 @ 2pm 20 - 4th Avenue S.E. Calgary, Alberta T2G 4X3

Next, DHS alleged that Noah had been abandoned by his mother in Oregon. Though he was with his legal stepfather, according to these kind hearted Oregon representatives, a stepfather isn’t a guardian and therefore Noah’s mother had broken Oregon law by leaving him in his stepfather’s care. The mother had written a medical release to her husband so her son could be treated while away from home.

Still, it was not good enough for Oregon.

Noah's biological father has never been in the picture, and his stepfather has full parental authority in Canada. “I was not aware that my husband doesn't have parental authority in the US. Either way, I dohave parental authority, so why didn't they just send Noah home with me?”

There must be more to it, logic says. Perhaps the parents are undesirable characters, or have a reputation for violence, or unfit parental performance. Why else would a judge actually go so far as to remove a child from his parents while on vacation and hold him in a foreign country?

Why indeed?

“I have been investigated by Canadian social services and found to be a good parent who provides a good home to her children and they have no concerns, so they closed my file. I've never lost custody of my daughter, who is 7,” Lisa Kirkman said.

“None of my family has been criminally charged with anything and their big complaint against me is that I "abandoned my son in Oregon" and left him with someone who technically, has no 'parental authority,' namely my husband, the only father has ever known."

By these standards, parents "abandon" their children when they send them to summer camp, as no person there would have legal "parental authority."

“My son is living proof that indeed, the US can and will steal your child just because they don't really like you, no matter which country you're from.”

Noah and his Papa, John Kirkman

“The fact is, there is absolutely nothing that I, or John, or Noah could say or do- or not say or do, that would justify a foreign country keeping him there. He's a Canadian citizen who was visiting. Even if he were in actual danger in Canada, which he is not and never was, that's up to the Canadian authorities to deal with.”

“If Canadian social services thought I was a bad parent, I would've had my children taken away from me a long time ago.”

Lisa was mandated by the Lane County Judge to participate in Home Studies, parenting classes, and months of therapy, and when those things were completed, the Judge’s response was, "This is not a checklist. I'll decide when he gets to go home."

Activism Under The Microscope

Lisa Kirkman is a doer, not a talker. An outspoken proponent of cannabis legalization in Canada, she is assistant editor and writer for Cannabis Culture and Cannabis Health Journal, and opened a medical marijuana dispensary on BC's west coast. In 2005, she was sentenced to community service for growing medicinal pot for her husband, who has chronic fatigue syndrome but has an otherwise clean record.

Her cannabis activism is thought to be potentially responsible for the difficulties in Oregon, though there were absolutely no drug laws involved in Noah’s situation.

“I've been a working anti-prohibition activist and a member of counterculture media for over a decade, plus I'm married to an American. I know exactly the views of people in the States when it comes to drug use. It's my job to know, aside from my wanting to be aware of the situation my American friends and family have to endure,” Kirkman said.

“This judge is just tickled he caught an anti-prohibition activist in his web and is determined to make my family & I needlessly suffer.”

Judge Leonard

Judge Kip Leonard was appointed to the Lane County Circuit Court in 1989. He served as Presiding Judge of the Circuit Court from 1996 to 2000, and currently sits as the Juvenile Court judge hearing all juvenile delinquency and dependency cases. In Juvenile Court he created the state's first juvenile drug court.

“I'm not saying DHS took my son because of my activism. I'm saying the judge--who is elected and who started the Youth Drug Courts in Eugene--has been holding my son because of a political agenda. The judge doesn't even care what DHS has to say, let alone me. DHS already told the judge they want to send my son home, but the judge has said, 'No,'” Kirkman said.

“This is parental alienation, this is kidnapping, this is a system not used to parents fighting back,” said Avery Maxwell, family member. “I hope to God for your sake- this goes for everyone, that whatever political and/or activist activities you're involved in never influences the public's perception of your parenting.”

Where Does That Leave Noah?

Noah turned 12 on March 21st, 2010, his second birthday away from home. Another milestone without his mother.

Lisa hasn’t seen her son since July, 2009, and the family is only permitted one 15-minute supervised call with Noah every two weeks during which they are not allowed to say anything to Noah about coming home or how much they miss him. When they have, their calls have been cut off.

“It is literally easier to visit someone in prison, than to schedule a phone call so that he can speak to his sister on the phone,” his aunt said.

Everything his mother and family send to him is screened by DHS, and they do not know how much of it he receives. Though Noah is computer literate, his foster parents do not make one available to him, so he also doesn’t have access to email.

Noah’s grandmother was allowed to meet with his therapist who confirmed that Noah did want to return home, and the only fears he had were that his own behavior would somehow keep him from going home to his family.

These are not the normal fears of a 12-year old; it is not normal for a 12-year old to be dealing with such unnecessary separation trauma, a situation with no logical rationalization.

In April, Lane County Circuit Court Judge Kip Leonard ruled that he might be open to sending Noah back to Canada when the school year ends, but there was no guarantee.

There is more than one government official paying attention, however.

Canada Gets Tough With Oregon

“The Canadian federal government, including Alberta Members of Parliament (MP) Rob Anders and Dan McTeague, DFAIT (Dept. of Foreign Affairs & Intl. Trade) and the Prime Minister’s Office have had several meetings about Noah and are still discussing the situation,” Kirkman said.

“MP Dan McTeague actually brought it up in Question Period in the House of Commons, and Rob Anders sent registered letters to the judge and Oregon Governor Kulongoski, plus several phone calls telling them that he planned on going down to Oregon to pick Noah up.”

"This is not a checklist. I'll decide when he gets to go home." -Judge Kip Leonard

There has been no word from Oregon’s leaders, but Judge Leonard is quoted as having stated that he "doesn't care if the Governor or President Obama, himself, tell me to send Noah home, this little Canadian boy will not be leaving this jurisdiction until I say so."

“This sets a dangerous precedent for any Canadian traveling to the US,” says Jordan Champagne, friend of the Kirkman family.

“It also is very significant politically. The state of Oregon has basically said that the Alberta government doesn't know what is best for its citizens and they need to intercede. What are they really doing? They are punishing this innocent boy by keeping him from his country, his family and his faith.

"This needs to stop. He is a Canadian and he belongs in Canada.”

“Oregon's Department of Human Services has a long track record of incidents like this involving American children. Noah is the first known Canadian child in these circumstances,” added Avery Maxwell.

“They've been trying to justify their original mistakes since they took him and don't know how to back out of this gracefully, so they'd rather not back out at all,” said Lisa Kirkman.

According to the National Coalition for Child Protection Reform, Oregon has been removing children from their families at one of the highest rates in the nation since 1985, 70 percent above the national average and double and triple the rate in states widely considered to be models for keeping children safe. Those numbers should give all Oregonians pause.

Protecting children is foremost, but this cannot be accomplished without seeing the bigger picture, as Noah's story affirms. Without consideration for the sanctity of the family, the best welfare of children is truly at risk, and should be re-visited, if the cliché “family values” is to mean anything at all. And sometimes, a judge just has to be big enough to eat a little crow, for the good of the child.

Okay, Oregon: your move.

===========================================
News coverage: Harper asked to intervene in bizarre international custody case

Calgary Herald, April 27, 2010

Noah's mother, Lisa Kirkman has a Facebook page with 2,500 followers. Noah’s story has been covered first in Canada on the Calgary affiliates of CBC and CTV, the Calgary Herald and other media, including the nation's most prestigious newspaper, the Toronto Globe and Mail, and now in the United States. In addition to CNN, Lisa Kirkman has been on Portland, Oregon television stations KGW and KATU, and now featured on Salem-News.com.

CNN: Mothers of Lost Children Hold Silent Vigil at the White House

 

CNN iReport

Click to view NCarroll's profilePosted by:NCarroll

    CNN producer note

    NCarroll is the founder of the Indianapolis chapter of this organization and posted these photos, telling me, 'We tried to all dress in white as a sign of peace (as the Liberian women in "Pray the Devil Back to Hell" did). We had about 120 participants. '

    - hhanks, CNN iReport producer

     

    iReport —

    Mothers from across the country gathered at the White House today on Mothers Day to stand in silent vigil for the children who are now in the custody of abusers.  Claims of domestic violence are often dismissed by family court judges during divorces or child custody proceedings, even though the American Bar Association found false claims to be rare.  To raise awareness of this crisis in family courts, Connie Valentine and Karen Anderson of the California Protective Parents Association organized with other groups such as the Center for Judicial Excellence, Justice for Children, and the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV).  The event was also supported by Stop Family Violence and the National Organization for Women.

    Dr. Mo Hannah (Siena College, New York) of the Battered Mothers Custody Conference introduced the speakers at the press conference held at noon.  Kathleen Russell from the Center for Judicial Excellence, Eileen King from Justice for Children and Rita Smith from NCADV spoke to the public and members of the press present.  Guests included Mildred Muhammad, ex-wife of the DC sniper, and other mothers including Katie Tagle and Amy Leichtenberg, both who lost their children in murder-suicides with their abusive fathers.

    Some members attending today plan on continuing the vigil daily at the White House throughout the month.

      Tags:child,custody,mothers,children,family,court,white,house,mildred,mohammad

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      Washington Post's "Heartbreaking Headline" is Disturbing

      The headline in the Washington Post, " HEARTHBREAKING FINISH FOR U-VA ROMANCE," continues, in my opinion, an ignorant yet sweeping trend in reporting these tragic crimes. Instead of sugar coating a headline that brings readers to the Internet or sell newspapers why not call it out for what this horriffic tragedy is, "Intimate Violence Murder Takes The Life of College Student," or do a follow-up as True Crime Writer Kathryn Casey wrote titled "Okay Girls-Time-To-Listen Up."

      I realize that does not send loyal readers running to the headline in fact it is likely tomake intelligent subscribers ignore the story and head over to the lesuire section of the newspaper. And it also does not do much for parents sending their children off tocollege at a large university. Anyway you look at it it is about the all mighty dollar.

      Lets face it Domestic ,Violence and Stalking related deaths do not sell newspapers. The subject matter is not attractive and it only perpetuates the myth that intimateviolence is between two people and they should somehow work it work between themselves. I have a news flash for you; it obviously did not work for Yeardly Love, who, in my expert opinion, did not have to die. Nor does the fact that colleges polices and the hour of student orientation they receive upon entering college on sexual assualt and campus crimes do little more than protect a university from lawsuits because they have passed out to the new students written mumbo jumbo from information copied off aDepartment of Justice website or newsletter and called it "information you can use to be safe."

      Obviously, it did not work for Yeardly Love or those we do not even hear about who are silenced on college campuses across the county.

      It is a silent yet known fact that University police are not trained adequetly in sexual assualt and domestic violence crimes. And, yes, folks, they are crimes!

      An example of another tragic case is a book written way back in 1995 by Washington Post pultizer prize winning journalist George Lardner titledm "The Stalking of Kristin," about a promising young art student who was killed by a jealous ex-boyfriend while attending college. Kristin Lardner did everything right. She was educated and sophisticated, and had the time and resources to make the law work for her. And she was a member of the class of people who believe the law when it promises to protect them. With a parent's rage, and an impressive command of the facts and statistics, George Lardner refutes the widespread belief that the courts offer effective protection to battered women who do report their abusers and press charges. The book includes photos of Kristin's artwork about abuse of women and 80 pages of footnotes and bibliography about the legal system. Unfortunately, this book needs to be part of every college campus and law school is no longer in print. I thought about George Lardner, whom I met while on book tour of my first published work, "Defending Our Lives, Getting Away from Domestic Violence and Staying Safe." [published by Doubleday Books]

      I am sure, if asked of the father of Kristin , George Lardner, "what has changed in the legal system since the murder of his daughter 18 years ago?": his response would likely be "nothing has changed."

      Maybe the Washington Post will do a story or review on the book "Time's Up A Guide on How to LLeave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships." It may not grab new subscribers to the Washington Post, but it will save lives!

      Available for Order NOW! CLICK COVER
      How you can escape a violent relationship and get out with your life. ALSO NOW AVAILABLE ON KINDLE

      Labels: Charlottesville, Chevy Chase, Children Domestic Violence, Consumer Safety Strategies, Gerorge Lardner, Intimate partner violence, Universities, Virginia,Washington Post, Yardley Love

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